A Trip Down Pregnancy Lane

If I may, this post is pretty much dedicated to pregnancy. I began this wondrous journey in July. I pretty much got pregnant the second before I left for JAG school. I found out in Montgomery, AL and had not told my Italian friends. So, when I was four months pregnant I wasn’t really showing and we weren’t really telling. The majority of people I knew weren’t aware I was pregnant. 

At Hellbrunn Palace in Austria. 

Oktoberfest in Munich! I can't wait to drink a
Flagon next time. I faked it this last round.

At five months pregnant I was a bit more portly and the cat was out of the bag. It seemed like my legs were carrying the brunt of my weight but I started feeling better. This period of gestation brought a lot of questionable looks. These looks conveyed that people believed I might be with child, but were not 100%. Rather than ask me and risk the horrifying response “what, I’m not pregnant,” they chose to stare at me instead. I have only once screwed with someone with “what, I’m not pregnant,” but I couldn’t hold out long enough for them to become truly uncomfortable. This is one of my biggest pregnancy regrets.

See? It could just be a gut. Oh and I'm in front of the Colosseum in Rome.

The Trevi Fountain in Rome. This is one of my top favorite things.

Piazza del Campidoglio, Rome

Six months pregnant coincided nicely with bundle up weather. This was the season of Christmas markets. I had this sad stuff called kinderpunch which was supposed to mimic the more fun and adult version called gluwein or hot wine.

Munich, Germany

Sacile, Italy-Our Italian Hometown

One of my assignments was a tax course in Garmisch, Germany at the end of November 2012. Randy and I used this as a chance to check out Munich and Salzburg.

Can you believe this was an assignment? Garmisch, Germany

5/6 months pregnant and about to get my "Sound of Music" on

Trying my best to "work it" at the Von Trapp Mansion!

Salzburg, Austria overlooking the view

 I used pregnancy as an excuse to gain 25 pounds. It has not been an excuse to sit out the parties.

Squadron Christmas Party

Doing the Wobble-Exhibit A

The hardest part about being pregnant was sitting out on the snowboarding season, although I did my best to participate. During our squadron ski trip to Innsbruck, Austria in January 2013, I rode on the gondola and sat at the top of the mountain drinking hot chocolate and reading a book. I thought I would hate a bunch of stuff about being pregnant, but other than some of the physical and vino limitations it's been fine. I don't mind at all when people give me random advice or touch my belly. Actually I appreciate the interest and concern.

Snowboarding as a spectator sport...for me anyway

But at least Innsbruck, Austria had plenty of local flavor (7 months preggers)

Many people focus on the bad parts of pregnancy. I think it’s strange that there are so many books and articles on “the things no one told you” because I found that people couldn’t wait to tell me the terrible details about pregnancy. What to expect when you’re expecting was basically a doomsday dictation of every possible problem/pandemic that you could suffer while awaiting the miracle of birth. I was ready for most of that stuff. I was not surprised by the almost peeing my pants (and the two times it got away from me) or the back aches, nausea etc.  While the backaches came off and on, I mostly felt pretty good. I was able to travel still. I asked Randy how he thought this pregnancy went so far and he responded with "you were not nearly as crazy as I thought you would be." Which I took as a job well done.

Buckingham Palace, me and Lorelei 8 months

A Football Match in London, England

So pregnancy fashion rule #1, add a belt

Although I certainly miss alcohol with a burning passion and did not enjoy throwing up exactly three times in the Pentagon (God bless America), there are many pluses. Here are a few:

1. You are celebrated for doing the most mundane tasks. I have been told I was an inspiration while I was on the elliptical at the gym. Just because I was pregnant AND working out.  I will miss the accolades given to me just by going through my regular routine. I’m pretty sure no one will be proud that I put together a matching and fetching outfit post-partum. I will miss this, dearly
2. Everyone wants to talk to you. I think you know how I feel about being the center of attention. I don’t hate it
3. Presents. Nuff said
4. This might be me specific. It is almost impossible to insult me about my physical appearance. I have been told I’m big, I’m small, I’m huge and I think “yep, that’s fine.” The other day my girlfriend and I were talking about things that grow when pregnant. I thought she said “and you have more butt too.” And I said “yep this thing has grown proportionally to my belly. I consider it God’s counterbalance.” And she responded “I said you have more blood too, I was not telling you that you have a big butt.” Either way, butt or blood, I did not care. Honestly
5. I can do very simple moves and look like an amazing dancer. Please see favorite thing number one. Also please see "The Wobble"
6. I barely have to pick anything up. This is almost a con because if I want to pick something up I get yelled at.
7. I am UNTOUCHABLE. When my coworker walked past my office the other day I heaved a plastic bouncy ball at him. It struck him square in the gut. His first reaction was to pick it up and wind back so as to get me back with mighty force. I simply smiled and pointed to my precious baby tummy and asked “so are you going to hit a pregnant girl?” The answer:  NO, not unless you’re a real douche.

8.5 months

Please skip if you do NOT want to read about CERVIX’s and their checks. I feel a little weird about writing this, but it is honestly the only thing that took be aback during my pregnancy. I went in for my 38 week appointment when the Dr. asked me if I wanted her to check my cervix. Basically, this check could indicate (very vaguely) when I might deliver. This was important because Randy and my mom were not in town and I wanted both to be in town when I delivered. So the doctor goes in, I would say knuckle deep, which was plenty for me, thanks. And wouldn’t you know it, she wasn’t done. I can’t tell you how far the doctor’s body and mine connected but by the time she was done I would have thought she was at least in to her waist. It was horrific. I’m exaggerating some about the pain, because it hurt and I wasn’t expecting it to. And it did feel like we were Siamese twins for a good amount of time. After that, I went to get a tetanus shot (which is approved for pregnant ladies). The tech asked me if I was ok with a needle prick. I said, “I just had my cervix checked so you could basically chop my arm off and I wouldn’t be any more scarred.” She understood. I know you ladies with children are thinking “wait until child birth,” but I really think it was the utter surprise of it all that got me. Clearly, my cervix was not yet open for business and now I think we’ve angered her. 

9 months, whew finally

Now we are near the end of the gestational odyssey. I feel that we have made it through rather successfully. We have traveled to five countries (six if you count Randy's trip to Spain without me-which didn't get included because it in no way documented the pregnancy), I have worked 14 hour days and tried three courts, Randy's flown approximately 90 sorties and we have overall maintained sanity. I'm due April 4 and have been healthy the entire time. I will continue working until she makes her debut and get about 6 weeks off after. Lorelei is a wild child and has wriggled and danced throughout. I often say she is like a raptor trying to find the point of least resistance. She may not be that bright as she thinks that her exit route is through my ribs. We will e-mail everyone as soon as she comes in and I WILL send out pictures of her.

Eating a traditional English breakfast-You all are the beans to my bangers
Randy insisted this picture made the cut